Just Be Yourself

Just be yourself, they tell me, over and over and over again. However,  this is no answer to my issues, but rather, raises more questions than I can even contemplate. What really is the determining factor of who I am? To be forthright, I have no idea. It seems this question will be an everlasting mystery, but nevertheless, my life revolves around who I want to be versus who I am.  Am I the mask, the persona, that I display, even unconsciously at times? Am I what others think of me? Or am I how I act when I'm alone and uninhibited? Am I only truly myself those few seconds that my mind wanders before and after slumber? Or am I comprised of all my emotions, my reactions, or my experiences? Am I who I love?  If my name was a word in the dictionary, what would be my definition? As the song, Some Nights asks, what do I stand for? These infinite questions I have pondered, that have floated through my conscious and subconscious, have no answer.

This is partly due to all the varying possibilities as how the question may be addressed, and partly due to the ever changing sense of self as each moment passes. Every moment that goes by I am a different version of myself, even if only slightly. Every advertisement, movie, magazine and book that I encounter, watch, or read changes me. Often, little things, like  the speech "Sinners in the Hands of An Angry God" can dramatically alter a person's entire outlook on life. All these factors are a part, big or small, of who I am. However, I am more what I want to be, what I work to be, what I aspire to be, than anything else. Only I can connect the dots.

A Caucasian Female In AP English

A Caucasian female in AP English 11 is what I am. But is that all I am? I think not. Sherman Alexie is a Kiowan who grew up in abject poverty. Is that all he is? Again, certainly not. And neither he nor I are our heritage, our background, or social-economic status. However, in society there are often certain implications and stereotypes meant to categorize us based on these overall insignificant factors, or at least insignificant when it pertains to who we are as individuals. This is due to the human's desire to make sense of the world and ourselves, no matter if it is incorrect or not. As humans, we crave safety, and we find it in patterns, in rhythms, in repetition. That is why most human's enjoy poetry and music, especially rhyming. Like my dear little sister once said to me, "It's no fun if it doesn't rhyme." Yet to me, it is still fun and enjoyable when the unexpected occurs. I adore uniqueness and the never before seen, just as much as the lulling serenity of the chorus of "Soul Sister"by Train.

There is still beauty, and some argue even more so, in rising against the odds, in not following society's expectations, in deviating, in breaking rules that aren't rules at all. Sherman Alexie, for instance, became more that society expected from him, more than he expected from himself. Just because not everyone from his reservation ends up as successful as he does, doesn't mean he didn't become an incredibly acclaimed author. Stereotypes are faulty, misleading, and can't be rules as long as there are exceptions. A rule implies always, and if stereotypes are only occasionally true, how can they be rules, how can people believe them at all?

For more (and frankly, extremely better) insight to this topic, check out this spectacular blog:
http://kemiogunniyi.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/stereotypes/

Power (And A Hippo) Is What I Want For Christmas

An individual wields as much power as not only chance, but also that individual wishes to have. Opportunity for strength and influence is not bestowed as lightly as a holiday gift is, but instead, as remuneration for perseverance, sweat, and time, with an occasional sprinkling of luck involved.  Yet often, not even luck and abundant opportunity can raise the standing of those who won’t hold on to, or what’s more likely, chase life’s rare presents. This is exemplified by Jeannette Walls herself and her parents in her memoir, The Glass Castle. Throughout her retellings of her childhood, Jeannette reveals the multitude of times that her mother and father could have had a stable, safe and highly comfortable life, but instead chose to opt for their tumultuous one that landed them homeless. However, Jeannette Walls, even as a child, had to learn to be the exact opposite from her parents, in order to take care of herself and her future, and ultimately to invest in her education that earned her successful life and career. Jeanette made the absolute best of all her situations, be it sleeping without shelter and calling it, rather optimistically, an adventure, or working at her high school’s paper despite bullying. Jeanette, due to all her sacrifice, eventually becomes an acclaimed author with sufficient power to ensure her happily ever after, while her parents, even though they had lands worth millions, were without food, home, and the strength to allow themselves basic happiness.